Angelina Jolie has beaten Oprah's sorry arse into the ground to become No.1 in Forbes' Celebrity 100. Forbes pretend the list is compiled using earnings, press rank, web rank and other made up stuff, when deep down we know it's just based on a google image search and a flick through Star Magazine. The Brits didn't fair too well at all...

The top 25 looks like this:

1 Angelina Jolie
2 Oprah Winfrey
3 Madonna
4 Beyonce Knowles
5 Tiger Woods
6 Bruce Springsteen
7 Steven Spielberg
8 Jennifer Aniston
9 Brad Pitt
10 Kobe Bryant
11 Will Smith 45
12 Dr. Phil McGraw
13 Britney Spears
14 David Letterman
15 Coldplay
16 Adam Sandler
17 Harrison Ford
18 Michael Jordan
19 LeBron James
20 Tom Cruise
21 Bon Jovi
22 Donald Trump
23 Rush Limbaugh
24 George Lucas
25 Simon Cowell

Are Coldplay really the best we've got to offer? And Simon Cowell I'm disappointed in you - you just haven't been on our screens enough.

Still, at least Joss Stone will have a record out soon - she's half American so should get counted twice.

Best thing about this list is the thought of Tom Cruise stroking a white pussy (first time for everything etc) whilst swinging round in a maroon leather armchair staring at a bank of television screens showing the faces of 19 soon-to-be-snipered people.