Big Brother exclusive

Big Brother 10 tonight

Thu, 04/06/2009 - 13:43 by HM writer

As Big Brother returns to our screens tonight, we can exclusively reveal a set of ambiguous code names about the contestants yet to be indentified and enter the house today...

Here they are and our own attempt to decipher them :

Lazarus - Is someone coming back from the dead?

Boomerang - Hmm, someone from Australia?

Kennels - Someone who looks like a dog?

Prince - The singer??

The Exception - Someone who has been put in against their will?

Any suggestions?

Big Brother, Davina McCall

Comments

kwebb, that was funny.
debouched Fri, 05/06/2009 - 05:31
This published list is incorrect.
I can confirm the list of contestants in full:-

Jane Fuckknickers - "What can I say? I'm sassy, I speak my mind, I don't suffer fools gladly and I am gobby. I'm always up for a laugh. The other people in the house won't know what has hit them when I get in there as I am going to stir up trouble!"

Dick Dysentry - "I'm Dick, I'm from Manchester and I am chiched gay man who has 120 friends on BeBo that are all girls. I'm a good listener and I like make up and picking bird shit off the bonnet of cars."

Dwayne Dogtoffee - "My name is Dwayne Dogtoffee - aka - my rap name which is Physics. I dunt be takin nah shit off none of these housemates innit. I've just got so many lyrics - and I want a career in music -ya get me?"

Wendy Skankcustard - "I'M WENDY - I SQUEAL ALL THE TIME AND SHRIEK. I'M REALLY BUBBLY. I WILL CHEER EVERYONE UP. I'M QUIRKY AND WEAR CLOTHES MADE OUT OF CLING FILM AND I LIVE IN A CARAVAN. ALSO I'M SCARED OF BIROS! HEEE HEEE!!"

Billy Bollockache - "I'm Billy - I'm 25 - from London - and I work in IT, and I live life TO THE MAXX! I really 'ave it every weekend with all my cuntish mates as we get turned away from Movida and end up in Tiger Tiger. I'm just going in the house to get laid as all the women will love me."

There will no doubt be somebody with two heads, conjoined twins or a man with 3 tongues in the mix too who "Really just wants to bring awareness to my condition so people don't shout "Oi! You fuck ugly 3 tongued window licking bucket of piss!" in the street at me."

Tick them off as they go in..total bilge.
kwebb Thu, 04/06/2009 - 16:26
I appreciate your sentiment however I have an issue with your choice of weaponry as frankly I don't believe the RPG-7 would achieve the best results. Napalm would be just the ticket as you would still be able to hear the screams.
geushky Thu, 04/06/2009 - 15:22
Davina still pulling silly faces and talking unfunny shit for the next...............24 weeks!!! Is there ever going to be an end to this enormous turd that Big Brother is??
kermits Thu, 04/06/2009 - 15:17
Lazarus - Cunt
Boomerang - Cunt
Kennels - Cunt
Prince - Cunt
The Exception - Not an exception but yet another Cunt

CUNTS!
geushky Thu, 04/06/2009 - 15:14
Tragic fame-hungry disposable fuckwits all. Would love to see a Rambo-style finish to the series with the entire sorry cast being hit with a volley from an RPG-7 with Davina first in line.
erniemilko Thu, 04/06/2009 - 15:12

Tragic fame-hungry disposable fuckwits all. Would love to see a Rambo-style finish to the series with the entire sorry cast being hit with a volley from an RPG-7 with Davina first in line.
erniemilko Thu, 04/06/2009 - 15:12
Lazarus - Cunt
Boomerang - Cunt
Kennels - Cunt
Prince - Cunt
The Exception - Not an exception but yet another Cunt

CUNTS!
geushky Thu, 04/06/2009 - 15:14
Davina still pulling silly faces and talking unfunny shit for the next...............24 weeks!!! Is there ever going to be an end to this enormous turd that Big Brother is??
kermits Thu, 04/06/2009 - 15:17
I appreciate your sentiment however I have an issue with your choice of weaponry as frankly I don't believe the RPG-7 would achieve the best results. Napalm would be just the ticket as you would still be able to hear the screams.
geushky Thu, 04/06/2009 - 15:22
This published list is incorrect.
I can confirm the list of contestants in full:-

Jane Fuckknickers - "What can I say? I'm sassy, I speak my mind, I don't suffer fools gladly and I am gobby. I'm always up for a laugh. The other people in the house won't know what has hit them when I get in there as I am going to stir up trouble!"

Dick Dysentry - "I'm Dick, I'm from Manchester and I am chiched gay man who has 120 friends on BeBo that are all girls. I'm a good listener and I like make up and picking bird shit off the bonnet of cars."

Dwayne Dogtoffee - "My name is Dwayne Dogtoffee - aka - my rap name which is Physics. I dunt be takin nah shit off none of these housemates innit. I've just got so many lyrics - and I want a career in music -ya get me?"

Wendy Skankcustard - "I'M WENDY - I SQUEAL ALL THE TIME AND SHRIEK. I'M REALLY BUBBLY. I WILL CHEER EVERYONE UP. I'M QUIRKY AND WEAR CLOTHES MADE OUT OF CLING FILM AND I LIVE IN A CARAVAN. ALSO I'M SCARED OF BIROS! HEEE HEEE!!"

Billy Bollockache - "I'm Billy - I'm 25 - from London - and I work in IT, and I live life TO THE MAXX! I really 'ave it every weekend with all my cuntish mates as we get turned away from Movida and end up in Tiger Tiger. I'm just going in the house to get laid as all the women will love me."

There will no doubt be somebody with two heads, conjoined twins or a man with 3 tongues in the mix too who "Really just wants to bring awareness to my condition so people don't shout "Oi! You fuck ugly 3 tongued window licking bucket of piss!" in the street at me."

Tick them off as they go in..total bilge.
kwebb Thu, 04/06/2009 - 16:26
kwebb, that was funny.
debouched Fri, 05/06/2009 - 05:31