The Man Who Wasn't All There
Fri, 23/01/2009 - 01:00 by chrisns
It's fairly obvious that Billy Bob Thornton has some challenging mental issues rattling around his big old balding skull. Aside from the fact that he persists in demanding to be called 'Billy Bob' there was the whole business of his cheating on Angelina Jolie (clearly mental), his decision to only eat orange food (utterly mental) and his belief that his song-writing was being influenced by ghosts in his house (totally off-the-fucking-wall mental).

Now the actor has told MTV that he has developed yet another odd mental illness - luckily just in time to promote his new movie, the name of which escapes me (it doesn't, I'm just not going to promote it here).

 

Billy Bob has developed agoraphobia, a terrible affliction which means that he is utterly terrified of walking through large Greek markets, or being in open spaces or something like that (which isn't the best career move for an actor really - though neither was divorcing Angelina Jolie).

 

Billy Bob also claims to have a form of 'manorexia' which makes him lose weight and divorce the most beautiful woman on the planet (it's a fairly rare disease), so he seems fairly riddled with insecurities and self-puzzlement, bless him.

 

You can't argue with his body of work as an actor, but hopefully there's a disease out there that makes the sufferer allergic to singing and whining. If there is, let's hope Billy Bob suffers from a massive infection pretty soon. Certainly before his next album and movie is released.

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