Britney Spears has decided to make her next tour more interesting. By asking Madonna to appear as part of the concert experience it means the concert-goers will be open-mouthed wondering whether Britney will have a breakdown during the gig or whether she will be upstaged by Madonna's hips popping out with a nasty 'click' when her corset gives up.

In November Britney stumbled on stage and mimed badly during one of Madonna's shows on her 'Sticky + Sweet' tour, and she is determined that the scarecrow of pop should repay the favour by stinking up her own tour.

 

Britney's tour kicks off next March in New Orleans, which seems unfair as that city has suffered quite enough in the last few years. Now, the city that was flooded by a hurricane faces the challenge of being swamped by cheese, for this is where Britney will reportedly prise open Madonna's coffin, remove the string of garlic from her neck and allow her to creak her way around a stage once again, looking for the young fresh flesh of her next husband.

 

That's the rumour being peddled by Wade Robson, the man with the unenviable task of choreographing Britney's tour and hoping that she can walk on her hind legs for the duration of the tour. Wade says...

 

"I'm choreographing and set-designing her show. There's been talk of Madonna making an appearance, and there's so many places we could Take That. At this point the main issue is timing."

 

I'd suggest AD 2400.

 

by Ian McShane