Even though Chris Brown is facing charges for battering his partner Rihanna, until yesterday he was still a nominee for an award voted for by children. Despite the fact that he has been charged with a few felonies Brown is innocent until proven guilty, so the organisers of the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards were left with no alternative but to leave his name and his shouty fists on the nominations sheet.

Thankfully, gentleman that he is, Brown has spared the blushes of the awards organisers by withdrawing from the proceedings with humility and dignity, and he managed all of this without hammering any women in the face. His spokesperson (owner of the least enviable job in the world after the beautician obliged to trim Kerry Katona's bikini line) shuffled into the limelight, squinted and murmured,

 

"Chris very much appreciates the support of his fans and the honour they have paid him in the way of nominations for Favourite Male Singer and Favourite Song."

 

"Unfortunately, the controversy surrounding the incident last month has shifted the focus from the music to whether he should be allowed to be among those nominated. While Chris would like to speak to his fans directly about this and other issues, pending legal proceedings preclude his doing so at this time. Once the matter before him has been resolved, he intends to do so."

Yes, he can't apologise about 'the incident' because of legal matters and without incriminating himself. And how wonderful to hear the savage battery of a woman referred to as an 'incident'. A bit like describing the situation in Iraq as 'a spat'.

So there are two awards on which Chris has missed out. Still, there's still 'Twat of the Year' and he's a shoo-in for that accolade.