Former grade A booze hound par excellence Colin Farrell has admitted that if he hadn't knocked the grog on the head, he'd be six foot under by now.

Smashing rumours that it was his crushingly bad performance in 'Alexander' that tipped him over the edge and led to the gurning, sweary, serial shagging mess who famously tried to bed antiquated actress Dame Eileen Atkins, Farrell said:

"I'd been drinking since I was 14. I was pretty sick. At the beginning of recovery I found it really hard."

Hell yeah. More than a decade of abdicating responsibility in favour of permanent mash up? Pulling the world back into focus after that kind of bender is going to Sting like a bitch.

Finally free of the slur and probably enjoying the fact he can now remember what he says to the press, he continued:

"For me there was no choice. It was tough but I was dying. I was struggling not to have a complete meltdown. I was just gone. I'm glad I'm out of that cycle, I'm very lucky."

Call us cynical but we've seen it all before. Celeb cleans up their act, preaches the merits of wheatgrass and cold showers, then BAM! The crippling boredom of sobriety snaps their fragile will at the first sign of a bad review.

How those film critics sleep at night, I'll never know.

by Lou Lou