Conspiracy theories surround David Carradine's death

David Carradine: Not a wanker

Mon, 08/06/2009 - 09:00 by Mr. HM

Rather than accept the fact that Kung-Fu actor David Carradine probably died after a danger-wank, members of his family think a far likelier explanation is that he was murdered because he "knew too much" about deadly underground ~~car parks~~ martial arts organisations.

The Kill Bill actor was found hanging in a hotel room in Bangkok, Thailand last Thursday, at the age of 72.

Whilst the official cause of death hasn't been announced (clue: rope around neck and balls) his family are refusing to acknowledge he may have committed suicide or played sexy games. They have instead asked for the FBI to investigate assassins.

The family's lawyer went on Larry King's talk show and revealed Carradine was investigating secret kung fu societies, whose members had the motive and means to kill him.

His ex-wife Marina Anderson has some sense though:

"If he was involved in secret societies, it was a secret that even I didn't know about."

Meanwhile a thai newspaper has published a leaked forensic picture of Carradine's body hanging from the wardrobe.

It's not particularly graphic, but it isn't pleasant (and almost certainly illiegal) so I won't put it up. If you HAVE HAVE to see the Carradine hanging photo, then go for your life.

R.I.P., David Carradine

Comments

Fuckin ninjas got him. TRUFAX
rightroyalbastard Mon, 08/06/2009 - 11:59
Why is it that most people just get on with it and deal with the $$$, the fam and doing a job... why's he got an exclusion clause? Either way any cunt that prioritises a fucking *tarantino* movie is fucked in the head.
dames Mon, 08/06/2009 - 11:56
welli thought it was a bit vain to have a full size poster of himself above his bed
elbow Mon, 08/06/2009 - 10:23
In that picture he looks perfectly healthy sat upright in bed. His head is a little swollen but otherwise he appears in the rudest of health.

Not sure about the hangers in that wardrobe.

ps : Now what I'm about to say, is so damn twisted - not only is there a man in his closet - but the man - is not a midget - midget - midget..
kwebb Mon, 08/06/2009 - 10:11
I'm going to play devil's advocate here, let's say he actually was involved in some crime-fighting shit, and wasn't a deluded old man who likes to play make-believe a little too much. Why the fuck would he tell his EX-wife about it?

*edit* does anyone else find it amusing that the film he was in Thailand to film is called (and I shit you not) 'Stretch?'
BustySinclair Mon, 08/06/2009 - 09:47
he cant have been killed, no one can kill Kwai Chang Caine!

"'You sit by yourself grasshopper. What do you think of?' -Master Po
'My mother, my father. Both gone. I am alone.'
'You hear the flock of birds flying overhead? You hear the fish? The beetle?' To all of this the young Caine nods. 'In this crowded place you feel alone. Which of us is the most blind?"
elbow Mon, 08/06/2009 - 09:16

he cant have been killed, no one can kill Kwai Chang Caine!

"'You sit by yourself grasshopper. What do you think of?' -Master Po
'My mother, my father. Both gone. I am alone.'
'You hear the flock of birds flying overhead? You hear the fish? The beetle?' To all of this the young Caine nods. 'In this crowded place you feel alone. Which of us is the most blind?"
elbow Mon, 08/06/2009 - 09:16
I'm going to play devil's advocate here, let's say he actually was involved in some crime-fighting shit, and wasn't a deluded old man who likes to play make-believe a little too much. Why the fuck would he tell his EX-wife about it?

*edit* does anyone else find it amusing that the film he was in Thailand to film is called (and I shit you not) 'Stretch?'
BustySinclair Mon, 08/06/2009 - 09:47
In that picture he looks perfectly healthy sat upright in bed. His head is a little swollen but otherwise he appears in the rudest of health.

Not sure about the hangers in that wardrobe.

ps : Now what I'm about to say, is so damn twisted - not only is there a man in his closet - but the man - is not a midget - midget - midget..
kwebb Mon, 08/06/2009 - 10:11
welli thought it was a bit vain to have a full size poster of himself above his bed
elbow Mon, 08/06/2009 - 10:23
Why is it that most people just get on with it and deal with the $$$, the fam and doing a job... why's he got an exclusion clause? Either way any cunt that prioritises a fucking *tarantino* movie is fucked in the head.
dames Mon, 08/06/2009 - 11:56
Fuckin ninjas got him. TRUFAX
rightroyalbastard Mon, 08/06/2009 - 11:59