Bad news for all Courtney Love fans - you're idiots. Oh, and the grubby songstress is delaying the release of her latest album because of spirits. Not the type you'd expect either because Courtney claims she now steers clear of intoxicating influences such as liquor, drugs and interesting conversation. The totally clean and in-no-way deranged star has declared that her album 'Nobody's Daughter' will be delayed due to 'paranormal technical issues' in the recording studio, and this has nothing to do with Courtney's voice bearing all the hallmarks of a banshee's scream.

Luckily the news was issued on her MySpace blog by Courtney's representative, which means we are spared the usual twenty paragraphs of badly spelled swearing and utter gibberish (Come here for that! - Ed), instead replaced by calmly-written gibberish instead.

 

"The studio that Courtney and her band were using to record had some paranormal technical issues and had to be moved from one studio to another studio right around the holidays due to some technical sound issues."

 

The issues being that it sounded utterly shit.

 

"The room was a paranormal issue; Courtney and crew could not hear between guitars. Sound and vocal mixings have to be completed still to perfection. If Courtney had it her way she would have the studios sound-checked first but it was originally use (sic) as a hip-hop rap studio so the acoustics were all fucked up."

 

Hear between guitars?! WTF is she on about?

 

'Paranormal' means that there is something going on that can't be explained away by science, so I'm not sure that the claim that hip-hop breaks recording studios is totally correct. It's pretty obvious what the cause of the problems was - the spirit of Kurt Cobain sighing loudly and muttering "Shut the fuck up, for God's sake!"

 

A bit like the rest of us.

 

By Ian McShane