Like a gruesome tennis match (with their daughter as the umpire) Michael and Dina Lohan are once again taking turns to show Lindsay who her best parent is. Yesterday it was Michael who issued a verbal volley of adoration, grunting 'Love me Lindsay!' as he hammered the point home to a journalist. Today Dina returns the volley, fighting for her daughter who has given her so much love, affection and airtime.

It was reported that all was not well on the set of US show 'Ugly Betty' with Lindsay's diva-ish behaviour and extended entourage particularly upsetting the show's star America Ferrera. Not so, says Mrs Lohan, protecting her daughter with all the vigour of someone protecting a cash cow which is still good for suckling. Dina told People.com...

 

"It was just silly. America's a doll."

 

It wouldn't surprise me if there actually was a doll of Fererra somewhere in the Lohan house, pins sticking out from every angle.

 

"And they said Lindsay brought a posse. It was my mother and myself, and sister Ali. It was not a posse."

 

There you go, it was not a posse. Now if anyone knows what the collective noun for a group of twats is, do let us know. I'm going for a 'clunge' or a 'Snow Patrol'.

 

by Ian McShane