Despite Dan Behr making us want to hurl with her self-conscious prancing about in nowt but her smalls, the original WAG has found time in her hectic schedule of emerging from the surf in her 26th bikini change of the hour, to surprise us all with some rare honesty.

Of her impending stint eating marsupial genitalia and suffering the horrors of Ant and Dec, the 37-year-old said:

 

"I've been away and off UK television for so long, so it's probably the fastest way to come back."

 

While we all know that only desperate has-beens surrender themselves to the vagaries of reality campfire camaraderie, they never admit it. That would be tantamount to conceding that their career resembles a burnt out Ford Cortina dumped by the side of the A13.

 

Instead they opt for the 'I want to test myself and grow as a person' tripe. Now Dani's gone and blown their cover with a little bit of truth, which after all that scary rictus grinning on the beach, rather dampens our initial feelings of overwhelming nausea.

 

Now, enough nice. It hasn't escaped us that Behr's deliberate pap-courting in stringy bits of swimsuit are a carbon copy of Myleene Klass's antics when she entered the jungle. Listen carefully, Dani: if you're after a bit of what old lip-curling Klass has got, you'd better be prepared to become one of the most heart-stoppingly dull presenters on telly.

 

Oh fuck, hang on. We forgot about The Word... well, it'll be familiar territory then.

Bikini shots over at The Sun.

 

by Lou Lou