Grief encounter
Mon, 13/07/2009 - 09:13 by HM writer
Jack Tweed has taken his grief and fled straight into the arms of a glamour model for one night only. Tweed wooed Lisa O'Conner with a series of highly sophisticated texts such as, "U WANT RUMP?" just weeks after he laid Jade Goody to rest. But it's what she would have wanted, she'd be smiling down from heaven etc, etc...

Tweed pursued Lisa for weeks and bombarded her with texts, some of which read, "U WANT RUMP?" and "R U GOING 2 DO IT?"

Lisa, being only human, was unable to resist the charm he seems to exude and slept with him after he groped her arse and told her it looked nice.

Lisa said:

I really liked Jack and wanted to know him better. But after seeing how he acted after sleeping with me I want nothing more to do with him. He's a horrible, thoughtless rat who keeps his brain in his pants.

She added:

For 25 minutes as we had sex, Jade didn't seem to be much in Jack's thoughts. He never mentioned her ever. He only had one thing on his mind.

What, he didn't talk about his late wife when he was having sexual intercourse? What a monster.

And when their 'romantic' tryst ended, Tweed sealed it with a simple text that read:

LOVED F***ING YA.

It's like a modern day Romeo and Juliet...

  • Oh you silver tongued cunt you, what a way with the ladies!

    toady Mon, 13/07/2009 - 17:01
  • He's a cunt to be sure, but what about the type of girl who would pull down her knickers for that? I wouldn't shag him at knifepoint.

    blaxa Mon, 13/07/2009 - 15:51
  • Like this is NOT the Jack Tweed we all hate and want to kill? Cor lummy guv'nor. He is a veritable cunt and it's not news. By the way the slapper he fucked wasn't exactly blameless - what was her twist on the grieving shit? I think he should share everything his late wife had - namely the cancer would be a good start

    Blartmonster Mon, 13/07/2009 - 15:13
  • He will soon commit another crime, I've no doubt at all he will go back inside and he has run out of dying girlfriends to allow him a shorter sentence

    ikoo Mon, 13/07/2009 - 13:50
  • Has this guy earnt his celeb status or is he a bit like chantelle, just fucked someone else who's been on tv? Oh, that is celeb status these days....

    elbow Mon, 13/07/2009 - 11:49
  • I have said this before - someone get me a snipers rifle and let me know where he is and I will gladly rid the world of the CUNT!

    chriswah Mon, 13/07/2009 - 11:45
  • I guess there's a first time for everything tescopop

    SotC1 Mon, 13/07/2009 - 11:18
  • I must admit, Tweed sure has a way with the laydeez. My pants are veritably sopping after reading those erotic texts.

    tescopop Mon, 13/07/2009 - 10:46
  • Hang on!! I think I get it... he's... really, like... superficial? He shouldn't have had sex so soon? Boy, you guys! Sure know how to blow someone up!

    *slow claps*

    dames Mon, 13/07/2009 - 10:37
  • Is Al-Qaida writing the headlines nowadays?

    SotC1 Mon, 13/07/2009 - 10:19
  • There are some people who look like a right knob wearing the Ray Ban aviators and Tweed is definitely one of them. Bin the sunnies you ugly twat.

    kermits Mon, 13/07/2009 - 10:14
  • He has no reason to live. He should kill himself now. Really, fucking kill yourself you worthless, parasitic shit eating little cunt.

    Boffer Mon, 13/07/2009 - 09:46
  • Weeks? It took him that long?

    jockey Mon, 13/07/2009 - 09:37
  • Weeks? It took him that long?

    jockey Mon, 13/07/2009 - 09:37
  • He has no reason to live. He should kill himself now. Really, fucking kill yourself you worthless, parasitic shit eating little cunt.

    Boffer Mon, 13/07/2009 - 09:46
  • There are some people who look like a right knob wearing the Ray Ban aviators and Tweed is definitely one of them. Bin the sunnies you ugly twat.

    kermits Mon, 13/07/2009 - 10:14
  • Is Al-Qaida writing the headlines nowadays?

    SotC1 Mon, 13/07/2009 - 10:19
  • Hang on!! I think I get it... he's... really, like... superficial? He shouldn't have had sex so soon? Boy, you guys! Sure know how to blow someone up!

    *slow claps*

    dames Mon, 13/07/2009 - 10:37
  • I must admit, Tweed sure has a way with the laydeez. My pants are veritably sopping after reading those erotic texts.

    tescopop Mon, 13/07/2009 - 10:46
  • I guess there's a first time for everything tescopop

    SotC1 Mon, 13/07/2009 - 11:18
  • I have said this before - someone get me a snipers rifle and let me know where he is and I will gladly rid the world of the CUNT!

    chriswah Mon, 13/07/2009 - 11:45
  • Has this guy earnt his celeb status or is he a bit like chantelle, just fucked someone else who's been on tv? Oh, that is celeb status these days....

    elbow Mon, 13/07/2009 - 11:49
  • He will soon commit another crime, I've no doubt at all he will go back inside and he has run out of dying girlfriends to allow him a shorter sentence

    ikoo Mon, 13/07/2009 - 13:50
  • Like this is NOT the Jack Tweed we all hate and want to kill? Cor lummy guv'nor. He is a veritable cunt and it's not news. By the way the slapper he fucked wasn't exactly blameless - what was her twist on the grieving shit? I think he should share everything his late wife had - namely the cancer would be a good start

    Blartmonster Mon, 13/07/2009 - 15:13
  • He's a cunt to be sure, but what about the type of girl who would pull down her knickers for that? I wouldn't shag him at knifepoint.

    blaxa Mon, 13/07/2009 - 15:51
  • Oh you silver tongued cunt you, what a way with the ladies!

    toady Mon, 13/07/2009 - 17:01

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