Give him a hand...
Thu, 04/06/2009 - 08:47 by HM writer
Jack Tweed's hand seems to have swelled to over double its normal size from what we can only assume must be grief. Jack, leaving the St Martin's Hotel in the early hours with a mystery blonde lady, held his giant hand in the air to show his distress before it inevitably weighed him down. We decided to call someone who could possibly become a doctor, on behalf of Tweed, to see if it is indeed possible for a bereft hand to swell and what, if anything, can be done to reduce the size.
Our 'doctor' said the following:
"It is not possible for a hand to swell from grief, unless the grief has caused heart failure. The main possible reasons for the swelling could be an infection, heart failure, trauma, or he was born like that."
They couldn't confirm whether excessive partying in Faeces nightclub could cure such an infliction but get well soon Jack...
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Comments
Please Mother of God tell me why this vicious, ignorant cunt is out and about. If he was released from Prison early he should be on HDC where he fecking belongs: at home and out of our lives.
Add a couple of snooker balls into the sock along with the dogshit busty and I'm right there with you! Nothing this scrote can do ( even die ) could ever be noteworthy or newsworthy.
I thought it was sweet. Violent retard meets Racist fucktard...etc...
Wish I had that sort of romance in my life.
*doesn't*
Whichever media cunt inevitably gives this knobend a job in the public eye deserves to be bludgeoned to death with a football sock full of dried up dogshit.
As much as I cannot stand this fuckwit - if I had been married to Jade Goody I certainly would not be in a state of grief right now.
As much as I cannot stand this fuckwit - if I had been married to Jade Goody I certainly would not be in a state of grief right now.
Whichever media cunt inevitably gives this knobend a job in the public eye deserves to be bludgeoned to death with a football sock full of dried up dogshit.
I thought it was sweet. Violent retard meets Racist fucktard...etc...
Wish I had that sort of romance in my life.
*doesn't*
Add a couple of snooker balls into the sock along with the dogshit busty and I'm right there with you! Nothing this scrote can do ( even die ) could ever be noteworthy or newsworthy.
Please Mother of God tell me why this vicious, ignorant cunt is out and about. If he was released from Prison early he should be on HDC where he fecking belongs: at home and out of our lives.