Have you ever phoned in sick to work? There have been some excellent excuses for actors being unable to fulfil their contracted duties, such as 'mental fatigue' and 'can't-be-bothered-ness' but sweaty actor Jeremy Piven has hit the motherlode with his latest excuse. The grubby actor was starring on Broadway in the David Mamet play 'Speed The Plow' and clearly not enjoying the experience of being onstage under those hot lights, causing him to sweat even more despite his £10,000 per week paycheck.

First of all he called in sick because he was suffering from 'exhaustion'. Well, seven performances a week and a matinee on Wednesdays - it's just like being down the mines really. After a brief resumption of his role he was again struck down, this time with the exotic illness known as 'being tired'. The little warrior once again manfully went back to work. For a little while. Now once again he has been struck down and must leave the show permanently. Playwright David Mamet explains that he took the call from Jeremy's wife as the actor was too sick to come to the phone himself.

 

"I talked to Jeremy on the phone, and he told me that he discovered that he had a very high level of mercury. So my understanding is that he is leaving showbusiness to pursue a career as a thermometer."

 

Ease up on the sympathy there, David. Jeremy is, after all, the first person to use this as an excuse for missing work since Marie Curie. Just to make sniffy Jeremy feel even more of a louse than before, Mamet declared,

 

"The good news is that some really great actors will be helping out and stepping in."

 

Ouch. As opposed to some work-shy idiot who, according to some, acted like a spoilt child on the set of 'Entourage' and every other project in which he has been involved.

by Ian McShane