Joaquin Phoenix stunned the world (or at least his immediate family) this week, revealing that he is to quit the world of acting, the world he has bestrode like a sweaty colossus for centuries. Instead he will shower the world of music with his bountiful gifts. Lucky world of music!

Shy, retiring Joaquin chose to break the news at a benefit in memory of Paul Newman, attempting to hijack the publicity from an actor who will still be remembered this time next year. He told Extra TV...

 

"I want to take this opportunity... also to give you the exclusive and just talk a little bit about the fact that this will be my last performance as an actor... I'm not doing films anymore."

 

Phoenix has had his problems with drink and drugs in the past, but there's no suggestion that he was speeding his hairy tits off and gurning like Bez in a wind tunnel as he made the statement. Though it has to be a possibility. So now it's on to music...

 

"Yeah. I'm working on my music. I'm done. I've been through that."

 

This was confirmed by his brother. No, not River talking through Derek Acorah and his Native American spirit guide Sam, the other brother - Casey. Casey appears to have been kept in an attic and fed on fishheads, for he chimed in with the immortal line...

 

"I don't think he's kidding. He's got music and stuff."

 

Wow. As one Phoenix bows out of the limelight, the best of the lot steps forward to take on the mantle. Go Casey! And stuff.

 

by Ian McShane