Karl, who has his fashion own label after he began working for Chanel, whined about Heidi:
I don't know her. Claudia Schiffer doesn't know her. She was never in Paris, we don't know her.
For someone who doesn't know her, he seems to go on about her an awful lot. And also knows that she's married to Seal.
He added:
I am no dermatologist but I wouldn't want his [Seal] skin. Mine looks better than his. He is covered in craters.
No you're right, you're not dermatologist because if you were, you'd now that those weren't acne scars but the result of suffering from discoid lupus during his childhood (yeah, we looked it up) which also results in hair loss.
TWAT.
WAIT! THERE'S MORE!
Heidi Klum renewing her wedding vows with Seal, celebrates with Allure magazine shoot
Elton John's Oscar party, posh looks drunk, Cowell's breasts
Heidi Klum and Joan Collins do New York Fashion Week 
Heidi Klum gets semi-naked for DT magazine - and other stories
There are worse jobs than measuring Heidi Klum up for her waxwork - and other stories
Big Brother winner Pete Bennett gets married, amazing photos
P Diddy pays tribute to Notorious BIG by acting like an absolute cockend
Peaches Geldof and Eli Roth continue their thinly-veiled bout of self validation
Ronnie Wood visits the country with girlfriend, look like murderers
Jennifer Aniston & Gerard Butler get sexy for W Magazine ahead of Bounty Hunter release
Elton John's Oscar party, posh looks drunk, Cowell's breasts
Chanelle Hayes still pregnant, goes out with Robbie Coltrane
Take That's Mark Owen gets busted for 10 affairs
Daisy Lowe slips into a swimsuit and pair of hot-pants for Louis Vuitton bag campaign
X Factor's Rachel Adedeji gets the Holy Moly Interrogation
Katie Price sends saucy texts to Brazilian toyboy Andre Pinto
X Factor's Lucie Jones gets a Holy Moly Interrogation
When Holy Moly met JLS
How much is your sex tape worth?
What is so damn great about Blighty?
COMMENTS (9)
Karl, you look like Helen Daniels off Neighbours. And she's been dead a decade...
He DOES doesn't he?! No wonder Home James went under.
I wouldn't pick a fight with Seal, and I'm no desiccated midget wearing my Dad's suit.
Fuck off Karl, you pointless, two-dimensional ghoul. I hope yours is one of the many scalps taken by the global financial crisis.
*sings* "Heidi Klum! Ooooooh Heidi Klum - she's undone..."
And Karl, you're not French, you're German you twat. Since when Lagerfeld was a French name eh? Beside, who still wear a ponytail in 2009? goes to show you know a lot about fashion don't you. I feel a certain sourness towards Seal & Klum- possibly fuelled by your non existent sex life perhaps?
The only reason that Karl is still in Paris is that even the fucking Wehrmacht wouldn't have him and left him there after they fucked off back to Berlin in '44. He also looks like he's wearing my old school blazer with all those badges I used to have - "My best mate is a cunt", "Fashion designers are cunts", "Rock Against Racism - the BNP is full of cunts"
Karl Lagerfeld lost all credibility in Paris when Alexander McQueen and John Galliano kicked his arse out the door! I can tell you how uncool Karl Lagerfeld is. My dad wears one of his aftershaves that he bought on a cross channel ferry on a whim - and it is called "Karl Largerfeld PHOTO" in calculator looking letter font on the box. It was reduced to £8.50 along with Jumbo Toblerone. The minute my dad buys your shit - your finished. Take note Mr Joop, Mr Kouros and Mr Slazenger Sport.
He is a truly miserable, cadaverous old shitbag. And sunglasses indoors just makes him a bigger cunt.