Remember when Calvin Klein famously paired up Mark Wahlberg and Kate Moss for a crotch-heating undies ad back in 1992? She was all intact septum and doe eyes, draped over his bulging biceps and double-hard scowl. Didn't it just make you think they were rutting like rabbits by the time shooting was up? Actually no, according to Wahlberg.

Like a true gent he revealed to 'Nuts' magazine:

 

"I wasn't into the waif thing. She kind of looked like my nephew."

 

Perhaps sensing that he's overstepped the mark with one of the most litigious supermodels of all time (except Naomi Campbell obviously), he backtracks admirably. Well, sort of.

 

"I mean she's beautiful - she's a very pretty nephew - but I'm more into curvy women."

 

Bet Mossy loves that comparison. Still, 15 years later, after working her way through a squillion cigs and enough booze to capsize the QE2, recent pictures of the scraggy catwalk queen show she's looking more like a piece of old beaten leather than a little boy.

 

You know the 60-something faded strumpets that litter the Costa Brava, with fried egg tits, peroxide hair and a tan so deep they look like a piece of mahogany off-cut? Kate Moss: this is your life.

 

Here's the ad if you can't remember it. And what a wanker Marky Mark was...

 

by Lou Lou

 

Mark Wahlberg & Kate Moss Calvin Klein Commercial (1992) -