The Runaway Jury
Tue, 28/10/2008 - 01:00 by chrisns
It's not that Keanu Reeves' civil trial in LA is going to be an incredibly boring affair, but it looks as though people were going to any lengths to avoid serving on the jury.

Keanu is being sued by a paparazzi photographer, who claims that the actor (in the loosest possible sense) last year drove slowly out of a parking space and collided at a low speed with the photographer, causing them to float to the ground like a falling, broken little leaf (with intentions to instruct a lawyer to sue the tree at the earliest possible opportunity).

 

Despite Keanu's fame (or maybe perhaps because of his drawling monotone) few are keen to sit through the proceedings as jury members. When the jury was being selected a surprisingly large amount of people suddenly declared themselves non eligible because they had connections to the movie industry and might not be seen as impartial. (Spare a thought for the poor sods who did get picked in the end - including a less than happy 'Simpsons' illustrator - 12 angry men indeed).

 

One woman immediately declared herself to be an actress and she knew people who had already worked with Reeves. Another enterprising type suddenly remembered quickly that his occupation was actually 'movie producer'. Best of all was the man who (successfully) claimed that he could not be considered impartial as he used to be the voice of Bugs Bunny many years ago.

 

So even the slightest connection to the movie industry means that you cannot be on this jury. They must have found 12 people who haven't seen 'Bram Stoker's Dracula' then, because if I were on that jury I'd be asking for the lethal injection on the basis of his accent in the film alone.

by Ian McShane