Vest-wearing rock idiot Kid Rock is obsessed with Welsh singer Duffy. He says he would like to slide his grubby Kid Cock up her and flood her with his maggoty semen in order to impregnate her. (We hope you're not eating a rusty tin of rice pudding as you read this.)

He met her recently but claims: "I told her to stay away from me or she will end up pregnant". The rascal.

But, Christ alive, what a way to try and chat someone up. "Hey, my jizz is so potent that your ovaries will capitulate if you even get within ten feet of my fetid helmet that's already been up Pamela Anderson."

He's a real charmer, that boy.

Just imagine what their child would look like. It would have a giant big moon face and a grubby beard. In fact, it would probably look like whichever one from Chas & Dave plays the keyboards.

by HorseWorm