Way back in time, long before MySpace or Twitter or whatever existed, Lily Allen wasn't famous. She was still trying to make a name for herself in the music business; just another person outside, pressing their nose up against the glass. Now it's been revealed just what a trainee pop star has to do to get ahead.

They have to sing on Atomic Kitten songs.

 

Oh dear.

 

Her dad Keith had written a 'song' for diabolical football movie Mike Bassett: England Manager in 2001 called, oh Christ, "On Me 'Ead Not Off Me 'Ead" that Atomic Kitten were to record vocals for. Apparently Natasha or one of them (they all look the same) didn't show up to the studio to screech into a mic, so Lily had to step in.

 

Lily is one of our most confessional (and therefore best) pop stars, but this revelation may just be a bridge too far for her. Although, having said that, no matter what happens to her now, she can be certain she hit the bottom eight years ago.

 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. For Lily's sake, let's fucking hope so.

 

By HorseWorm