It's been a busy weekend for Lindsay Lohan. First of all she seems to be back in the arms of Samantha Ronson, as the pair were arguing as usual at a party in Florida. The usual situation occurred as Samantha performed her DJ set (by plugging her I-Pod into the sound system and selecting 'shuffle songs') whilst a bored-looking Lindsay sat with her Blackberry, smoking heavily and sending messages to Sam all night, like 'Why are you ignoring me?' and 'Can you play 'Come On Eileen'?'

Pointedly, Lindsay made a very public display of only drinking Red Bull, proving to the world that she has cleaned her act up and reformed her wild ways. Odd then when she attended the Maxim party that she was hiding a bottle of booze under the table and surreptitiously swigging away when she thought that nobody was looking.

 

Finally, an exhausted Lindsay and a friend made their way to the airport. The friend had booked ahead and secured a first class seat, but horrors! When Lindsay went to buy a ticket from the Delta Airlines desk it seemed first class was full and she would be forced to travel with the civilians in the rear of the plane! Turn right when getting onto a plane? What?

 

The immortal 'Do you know who I am?' made an appearance amid much shouting and screaming, as bemused travellers nudged each other and asked who the freckly woman making all the noise was. Finally Lindsay approached her friend, summoned up all her acting powers and declared,

 

"You'd better come and visit me back there in case I die."

 

I'm not sure you can die from mixing with common people. Sadly, Lindsay made such a scene that a first class seat was found and she was able to take to the skies with the beautiful people whose poo doesn't smell.

 

There's a more apt form of travel for Lindsay - you don't have to queue, mix with other people and it would fit in perfectly with her personality. A broomstick.

 

by Ian McShane