First they couldn't decide whether they were lesbians or not, now it seems Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson can't decide whether they've split from each other. Not that they're deliberately teasing us all in order to get a bit of publicity, you understand, they're just a pair of confused bunnies with all of these grown up feelings that they can't quite resolve in their lovely little girly heads.

In a surprise move, the normally reclusive Lindsay has broken her silence on the issue by running off to a magazine and flapping her mouth for some money. This time the lucky people at Life + Style magazine were the ones to arrive at work and find Lindsay waiting for them outside, checking her watch and then her checking account.

 

After a grim raffle in which the losing reporter was made to go outside with the cash and a tape recorder, Lindsay put on a brave face and emptily mouthed,

 

"We never broke up. People don't have to be together every second. It's healthy to miss someone, and if you're in it for the long run, it's good to know that."

 

She went on to tell the magazine that she has found a lovely new place "around the corner from Sam," so they can still see each other should their celebrity levels begin to dry up. An exasperated reporter claiming to be a friend of the pair said,

 

"They break up and make up all the time. There are a lot of speed bumps in this relationship, but that's part of the attraction."

 

He he - speed bumps? There's at least four, but it's not a euphemism I've come across before (i.e. tits etc). Let's hope this lovely couple can patch things up and get back to the happy place they were in before - on the cover of every magazine around.

 

By Ian McShane