The insufferable bores at PETA (Patronisers for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) have turned their fury towards the actress Liz Hurley, and they are as angry as anyone whose diet consists of mung beans and self-rightousness could be. Hurley has become the face of Blackglama, a firm who specialise in ripping the pelts off little cuddly animals - though to be fair they do turn them into remarkably cosy and fashionable coats.

A week after one of their members pelted Lindsay Lohan with flour, the organisation has now turned their ire on Hurley, and they've come over all sarcastic as well as whining. Their representative with a porn star name Robbie LeBlanc simpered...

 

"It's shocking that she's taking money to wear baby minks, who are skinned at six months old for Liz's luxuries. Her wardrobe is now as dead as her film career."

 

Ouch! To be fair, unlike the minks her film career was never exactly alive, was it? Oh wait, Robbie was just getting started.

 

"Millions of animals are electrocuted and skinned alive, suffering terribly for the production of fur. With so many fantastic faux furs available there is no excuse for the wearing of real fur."

 

Except for the fact that it's lovely and there's nothing nicer than wearing a coat covered in lovely little leather nipples with noses for buttons. Anyway, it's hardly a new thing for Liz is it? She draped a lifeless, unattractive wrap over her torso for years. Then he got caught with that prostitute.

 

by Ian McShane