You wouldn't take phone etiquette tips from Russell Brand. You wouldn't take charm lessons from Kanye West. And you definitely, definitely wouldn't take relationship advice from Madonna. Well - unless you're pop mentalist Britney Spears.

Yes, it seems that - despite a pretty shabby track record down the registry office - Britney sees Madonna as the ideal person to turn to for agony-aunt counselling. Madge's advice: forget about getting married altogether.

 

Evidently planning to spend the rest of her years living in a gingerbread house in the forest, the resentful soon-to-be ex-Mrs Ritchie has fumed to Britters that walking down the aisle is a big mistake for 'feisty' personalities like themselves. That's 'feisty' in the 'deranged and overpaid' sense of the word, then.

 

What with both Britney and Madge having already shared intimate moments on stage, it looks like they've found yet more common ground - whining about their failed marriages like two pissed slappers propping up the bar at the Dog And Duck on 'Slightly Tragic Ladies Night'.

 

A source has said:

 

"Madonna clearly sees a lot of herself in Britney because she seems very eager to help her."

 

Nothing too strange about that - lots of us have imagined a part of ourselves inside Britney. Well, before all those head-shaving, weight-gaining, umbrella-attacking shenanigans anyway. Then the only thing we wanted to put inside her was a handful of Prozac and some Regaine pills.

 

by CJ