Surprisingly it has taken four days for Madonna's brother Christopher Ciccone to hear the news about her divorce, realise that this is an opportunity to talk about himself and wheel himself in front of the media again. Chris (semi-famous for whining about his sister rather than having any identifiable skills of his own) was talking to Extra, telling them his views on the split from Guy Ritchie. You know, the Guy Ritchie he dubbed an unpleasant homophobe in his autobiography (copies still available).

Surprisingly it has taken four days for Madonna's brother Christopher Ciccone to hear the news about her divorce, realise that this is an opportunity to talk about himself and wheel himself in front of the media again. Chris (semi-famous for whining about his sister rather than having any identifiable skills of his own) was talking to Extra, telling them his views on the split from Guy Ritchie. You know, the Guy Ritchie he dubbed an unpleasant homophobe in his autobiography (copies still available).

 

Chris has already supped deep from the celebrity trough this year after the publication of his inexplicably boring-as-fuck book, but he wants more, and finds that is he talks about his sister then people listen, whereas when he talks about himself people tend to shut the door or murmur that they don't want to buy a copy of 'The Big Issue'.

 

"You don't get to where she is and stay there for 20 years by being sweet...Being married to her can't possibly be easy. I know what it's like living with her, growing up with her. It's next to impossible and I wouldn't do it."

 

He wouldn't do it? He's not likely to get the chance, is he? Still, at least he has a new career now. The minute Madonna as much as breaks wind Chris will be there, camped out on the steps of a magazine and mentally composing 'My Madonna Teenage Fart Nightmare'.

by Ian McShane