It's started already. The wheels are looking shaky and are about to drop off at any minute. Michael Jackson has postponed the first four O2 shows due to lack of rehearsal time. Audiences are predictably furious. Jackson superfans are still predictably mental.

Promoters AEG Live said the delay was necessary because the singer needed more time for dress rehearsals. What? The guy hasn't done anything for about 15 years, lazy tit.

The affected dates are as follows:
8 July - moved to 13 July, 2009
10 July - moved to 1 March, 2010
12 July - moved to 3 March, 2010
14 July - moved to 6 March, 2010

The statement was:

"Kenny (Ortega, the choreographer dude) and Michael are, at the same time, both creative pioneers and perfectionists. This show has grown in size and scope, thereby necessitating more lead time for manufacture of the set, programming the content for the massive video elements, and, most importantly, more time for full production and dress rehearsals. We do not want anyone to miss this once-in-a-lifetime experience"

"As much as we agonised over this change in the original schedule, we are sure the fans will understand when they experience the level of entertainment Michael Jackson intends to deliver."

OK, no-one should be surprised. This residency has had disaster written all over it from the very beginning. This is a man who just last year was being funded by a Middle-Eastern Prince to make an album. This is a man who is about to hit his mid-50's and who is quite clearly one of the most deluded men on the planet. But this is also a man who has shaped pop music more than anyone we can think of. Apart from Phil Spector that is. Oh, hang on - I see a common thread.

All Michael would have to do is walk on stage, perform 'Thriller' from start to finish then walk off before encoring with 'Don't Stop Till You Get Enough'. Job Done. We would all be very happy and probably buy a lovely overpriced T-shirt whilst we were at it. Instead we are inevitably going to be subject to endless medleys, re-imaginings, theatre-style bollocks - the majority of which whilst Jackson is not on the stage.

As we reported in last week's mailout, sources told us that Jacko is only contracted to appear for just 13 minuted per show. We have no idea if that is 100% genuine, but after this news - it sounds bang on the money. Your money.

What a joke.

Pics below show Michael being treated for skin cancer, or whatever bullshit PR story that was again.