Michael Jackson's former dermatologist has spoken out to dampen speculation that he fathered the late singer's first two kids, but in one of the least convincing ways possible.

Dr Arnold Klein, who treated Jackson's skin for years (clearly not very well), is at the centre of rumours that he was the father of Jackson's ex-wife Debbie Rowe's two children, as she was working as an assistant to him around the time of conception.

The kids were said to have been conceived by artificial insemination by an anonymous donor and raised by Jackson.

Klein, 48, rumoured to be the father of Prince Michael, 12, and Paris, 11, said:

"I can't say anything about it, but to the best of my knowledge, I am not the father of these children."

To the best of my knowledge? Hardly the most ringing denial we've ever heard. ("Well, I may have left some semen lying around, possibly in her fanny, can't be sure..")

He added: "I can't answer it in any other way. I don't want to feed any of this insanity that's going around."

FAIL on that one.

(Nice to see that the dermotologist getting some free publicity for Botox while he hides from the cameras though (pic 5).)