Michelle Heaton launches her celebrity stylist service. No really

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How Now?
Wed, 08/07/2009 - 12:06 by Mr. HM
Michelle Heaton, ex-member of Liberty X and Celebrity Big Brother crybaby launched her fantstic, recession-proof business yesterday. Simply pay her €200 an hour and she will style you and take you shopping. Wait! Come back!

You've not given the poor girl a chance!

Who wouldn't accept this unique opportunity to be styled by one of the nation's most fashionable individuals? You'd be foolish to think that Topshop would offer a better service. Would Topshop tell you to wax your fanjita, step into some Juicy Couture veloure tracky bottoms and suck a footballer off? NO.

Look at the pictures and tell me you disagree. Why, she's even so 'on the money' she found a launch party venue with her nickname already plastered on the walls. Forward thinking. Watching every penny.

Michelle Heaton

Comments

  • Obviously the poor girls doesn't know much about doing business but on the other hand she might find some customers among the snob circles of people, for sure someone will be curious and rich enough to pay 200 euros an hour to get styled up. I rather get my own human hair wig, make my own clothing choices, why would I want anyone else the make these choices for me?

    ronny Tue, 04/01/2011 - 13:43

  • I hope michelle heaton is giving her own stylist a cut of the swag. How bizarre that she has spent her 'career' being styled by other (tasteless) people, and now thinks she can tell other people what they should wear. By the way, the yellow, 3 seasons ago tulip skirt looks so very sophisticated and elegant with the tattoos and orange skin - yummy! Is it from the twiggy range at littlewoods?

    ikoo Thu, 09/07/2009 - 09:42

  • i think she realises she's no looker (understatement) so she goes for the "you'd fuck me if you were pissed" look. this is how she is famous, blokes look at her and think, shit did i fuck her when i was pissed.. must pretend she is acceptable and hence she is slightly more famous than joe public joe fugly ?

    manatee Wed, 08/07/2009 - 23:21

  • I know that there are five hundred million trillion reasons that you would not want Michelle Heaton as your stylist...I know that...but WHY, on the day when you launch your business, would you wear a top that DOESN'T EVEN COVER YOUR BRA PROPERLY?

    slag.

    facecake Wed, 08/07/2009 - 18:35

  • I bet the tubby one (2nd right) does anything you want for a couple of brandy cokes.

    Henry_McCarty Wed, 08/07/2009 - 15:48

  • Michelle Heaton covered in fake-bake standing in front of a sign saying Brown Cow. Why does she make it so easy for us?

    SelectiveInvective Wed, 08/07/2009 - 15:05

  • Great. This WOULD be in Glasgow wouldn't it? No where else would she have so much potential business. I am ashamed of my city.

    sassperilla Wed, 08/07/2009 - 14:37

  • Fucking hell. That is one sourfaced Brown Cow. She always looks like she's chewing a wasp.Still, imagine being taken shopping by Michelle Heaton, you'd just feel so....classy. Better not take your boyfriend along girls, or she'll have him sucked off before you even reach those must-have jungle-print leggings on the second floor of Primark.

    SelectiveInvective Wed, 08/07/2009 - 14:36

  • Hmmm....so many choices, I'm kind of leaning towards buying a gun and shooting Holden in the face at point blank range. I'd leave Marsh alone, she'll suffer more if she lives.

    unclebullshit Wed, 08/07/2009 - 14:27

  • You'd have to think so UB. For Eur200 an hour you could go dogging with Amanda Holden & still have change for a year's "services" from Jodie Marsh!

    erniemilko Wed, 08/07/2009 - 14:06

  • 200 euros an hour? How long does it take to smear clay over someones face and sellotape a horses tail to their head? I expect the price includes full sex though.

    unclebullshit Wed, 08/07/2009 - 13:10

  • 200 euros an hour? How long does it take to smear clay over someones face and sellotape a horses tail to their head? I expect the price includes full sex though.

    unclebullshit Wed, 08/07/2009 - 13:10

  • You'd have to think so UB. For Eur200 an hour you could go dogging with Amanda Holden & still have change for a year's "services" from Jodie Marsh!

    erniemilko Wed, 08/07/2009 - 14:06

  • Hmmm....so many choices, I'm kind of leaning towards buying a gun and shooting Holden in the face at point blank range. I'd leave Marsh alone, she'll suffer more if she lives.

    unclebullshit Wed, 08/07/2009 - 14:27

  • Fucking hell. That is one sourfaced Brown Cow. She always looks like she's chewing a wasp.Still, imagine being taken shopping by Michelle Heaton, you'd just feel so....classy. Better not take your boyfriend along girls, or she'll have him sucked off before you even reach those must-have jungle-print leggings on the second floor of Primark.

    SelectiveInvective Wed, 08/07/2009 - 14:36

  • Great. This WOULD be in Glasgow wouldn't it? No where else would she have so much potential business. I am ashamed of my city.

    sassperilla Wed, 08/07/2009 - 14:37

  • Michelle Heaton covered in fake-bake standing in front of a sign saying Brown Cow. Why does she make it so easy for us?

    SelectiveInvective Wed, 08/07/2009 - 15:05

  • I bet the tubby one (2nd right) does anything you want for a couple of brandy cokes.

    Henry_McCarty Wed, 08/07/2009 - 15:48

  • I know that there are five hundred million trillion reasons that you would not want Michelle Heaton as your stylist...I know that...but WHY, on the day when you launch your business, would you wear a top that DOESN'T EVEN COVER YOUR BRA PROPERLY?

    slag.

    facecake Wed, 08/07/2009 - 18:35

  • i think she realises she's no looker (understatement) so she goes for the "you'd fuck me if you were pissed" look. this is how she is famous, blokes look at her and think, shit did i fuck her when i was pissed.. must pretend she is acceptable and hence she is slightly more famous than joe public joe fugly ?

    manatee Wed, 08/07/2009 - 23:21

  • I hope michelle heaton is giving her own stylist a cut of the swag. How bizarre that she has spent her 'career' being styled by other (tasteless) people, and now thinks she can tell other people what they should wear. By the way, the yellow, 3 seasons ago tulip skirt looks so very sophisticated and elegant with the tattoos and orange skin - yummy! Is it from the twiggy range at littlewoods?

    ikoo Thu, 09/07/2009 - 09:42

  • Obviously the poor girls doesn't know much about doing business but on the other hand she might find some customers among the snob circles of people, for sure someone will be curious and rich enough to pay 200 euros an hour to get styled up. I rather get my own human hair wig, make my own clothing choices, why would I want anyone else the make these choices for me?

    ronny Tue, 04/01/2011 - 13:43

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