People can fall out about the slightest things. Leaving the toilet seat up, not putting the cap on the toothpaste or even like Honduras and El Salvador, starting a war over a game of football. Still, how empty would your life have to be to get into an argument over headbands? After all, this isn't the eighties - what next? Riots in LA because of a leg-warmer shortage?

The two towering intellects that are Mischa Barton and Nicole Richie have come to verbal blows over headbands. Both design the things and they both want to be the only big name in the market. At least some celebrities put their name to ranges of clothes - it doesn't take much skill to 'design' a piece of materiel draped around a waif-thin lollipop head, does it, or am I missing something here?

 

Originally it was Mischa designing the most pointless pieces of apparel on the planet, then along came Nicole with her fancy dreams and big ideas about covering a portion of an idiot's head. Now Mischa isn't happy, because she basically invented the headband, no matter what the ancient Egyptians say, and her friends are bleating about this injustice to Star magazine.

 

"Mischa is furious. She feels like Nicole completely copied her idea."

 

She's right to be annoyed. As inventions go the headband is right up there with the television and the x-ray machine. Two pointless twats arguing over headbands, like two bald men fighting over a comb. Welcome to the mind of a celebrity. Dark, isn't it?

 

by Ian McShane