Rich as she might be, Nicole Kidman appears to have a huge source of untapped potential earnings - hiring out husband Keith Urban to provide pain relief while women go through labour. Well, he worked miracles for Nicole she claims, when giving birth to daughter Sunday Roast, making the whole passing a baby through your doins thing as easy as passing a Big Issue seller covered in sores.

Or it might have something to do with the fact that Nicole is entirely made of plastic and botox now and utterly impervious to pain.

 

Nicole was talking to Glamour magazine. Actually, she wasn't talking - more simpering. Really, I'm not joking here. You might want to have a bucket or plastic bag handy in case she simpers you into involuntary illness.

 

"Keith was my rock during childbirth. I'd heard horror stories of 40 hours of labour, and I was sure that would be me, but I had a very easy labour. And through it all, Keith's eyes gave me such strength. I'm in a place of gratitude and humility. I don't take any of it for granted. I touch wood every day."

 

That's probably what got her up the stick in the first place.

 

Leave it alone. I touch cloth every day but I'm not expecting a medal for it. Having heard Keith's musical output then it appears clear that singing formed no part of this miraculous panacea, unless as a general anaesthetic. Wait, Nicole isn't finished yet. Fetch another bucket.

 

"The journey of life — we all go through it: You have love, you lose love, you find new love. To have love again is a beautiful thing."

 

It's not really looking beautiful from this angle - more sickly , needy and annoying.