No one quite knows why the Olsen twins are famous, though a bigger puzzle is why people would queue up for hours to buy a hastily-produced book 'written' by the loathsome pair.

Bucking the usual twins trend (where only one is evil) the pair have produced a wonderful tome for our times called 'Influence'. According to Amazon "Ashley and Mary-Kate take readers on a journey through their celebrated young lives, pausing to reflect on what has helped shape them into who they are today." Perhaps 'How To Be A Spoilt Whiny Little Idiot' might have been a better title.

 

People deluded enough to queue up to have their book signed in New York were given a strict nine point list on a form, detailing how they had to behave in the presence of two of the biggest stars in the Olsen family.

 

"Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen will be with us for a limited time. They will only be signing copies of their book... They will not be speaking, reading or taking questions. They will not sign any memorabilia or product other than Influence. There is a limit of one book per person. There is no photography allowed. You must put away your camera or cellphone before approaching the signing table."

 

Maybe no pictures in case the camera reveals their gargoyle like faces without the benefit of Photoshop? It's probably a wise move by the bookstore. Never mind chatting or posing for photographs, imagine how long it takes this pair just to write their name, the pen slowly scraping across the page while their tongues stick out of their mouths as they concentrate? The poor staff would have been there all night.

 

by Ian McShane