It is reckoned that Oprah Winfrey is one of the most powerful women on the planet. Her endorsement can lead to a film being a hit, a book being a bestseller and Presidents being elected. With such great power comes great responsibility, so when Kate Winslet appeared on her show, Oprah couldn't help but bang on about the 'Titanic' tits that were in her eyeline.

It should be pointed out that Kate appeared on Oprah's show after winning two Golden Globes, so just insert your own smutty joke here. Oprah couldn't help but talk about Kate's role in The Reader, where she plays a Nazi with nice tits, saying

 

"I love that you have real breasts, because in all the breast scenes, your breasts do what real breasts do."

 

Instead of telling Oprah to concentrate on her own chestal area Kate sadly turned into the female Hugh Grant, pulling out the whole 'English posh eccentric' act and rubbing her hands all over those award-winning tits.

 

"Thank you so much. You mean that kind of thing? And this kind of thing? And the moment when they race for sanctuary under your armpits when you lie on your back?"

 

Such chatter sent Oprah into full-on tit frenzy, enthusing over a pair of naturally saggy breasts as though they were the most unusual thing in the world (though considering she lives in California, that might be the case).

 

"There's that wonderful thing, you know, if you are a woman, you're lying on your back, your breasts they go to - they part - but if you look at a woman with not real breasts, their breasts are sticking straight up. God bless your real breasts!"

 

God bless Kate Winslet's tits indeed! It does make one think that maybe Oprah hasn't seen Kate's previous work though, as she seems to unveil her naughty pillows in most movies in which she appears. Maybe we should just thank God that Oprah hasn't seen Kate's full-frontal turn in 'Jude' or she'd be hosting a two hour coast-to-coast special on Kate's glorious downstairs topiary.

 

By Ian McShane