It's a surprise that Paris Hilton actually has to go to airports. Surely she is so divine that she can merely unfold her gossamer wings and glide gracefully into the sky? Unfortunately the wonk-eyed one is earth-bound (though Mars-bound would be much better for us all) and has to resort to frequent airport visits to squander her way around the world.

Now for someone so well-travelled you'd think that Paris would realise (in these security-conscious times) that a valid form of photo ID is required to get through airport controls. Clearly above such things, Paris attempted to board a flight from LA to San Francisco by merely smiling and pointing to her head. Unfortunately the security staff were unimpressed with her "I forgot" argument, even when she uttered the immortal "Do you know who I am?" line, for which the best answer for Paris would be "Well, I know WHAT you are…And a horrible one as well."

 

Poor Paris was forced into line with the mere mortals, searched and made to fill in so many forms that her skeletal wrists were grinding like a pepper mill. Thankfully she and her 19 bags made the flight and she was able to sully San Francisco as planned.

 

I'd like to see the security staff at LAX toughen up a bit the next time this happens. Those guard dogs could have a lovely snack as they race off down the concourse with bits of Paris' pelvis and shoulders.