Have you sorted out your plans for New Year's Eve yet? You know the most depressing night of the whole year? When you can go out to a thoroughly depressing party, get thoroughly depressed and then spend a third of January's wages getting a cab home, driven by a man so thoroughly depressed by the fact that he has to work on New Year's Eve that he can't even enjoy the fact he is earning more than the GNP of a small African country.

Well here's some great news. You can stay in this New Year's Eve and get thoroughly depressed via the internet as Paris Hilton will be hosting an online party from Australia. Not out of the goodness of her black little heart, but because some idiotic online social networking company is paying her to spoil the end of the year.

 

Paris will actually be present at the launch of 'Bongo Virus' in Sydney and some lucky guests will be able to join the party in person. The rest of the world will have to pay $5 to access the site and enjoy the party.

 

If you're seriously considering sitting in on New year's Eve and paying $5 to watch Paris Hilton live, you might as well consider killing yourself now. You're not really going to be making the world a better place in the next twelve months anyway, are you?

by Ian McShane