Ooh, the world is in a right panic about the swine flu, but we can all relax because Professor Paris Hilton has discovered exactly how one avoids infection. Thank the Lord for brains like this.

Paris was approached by a photographer working for TMZ.com who asked her about the hot topic of the day. Over a hundred and fifty dead in Mexico? Maybe an international pandemic on the way? Might this affect the price of sunglasses? Actually, the conversation with the world's most eminent mind went this way.

Photographer : "You worried about the swine flu, Paris? It's killing a lot of people in Mexico?"

Paris : "I don't eat that."

So that's where all the scientists have been going wrong. Just because it's 'flu' they assume it's a virus spread by coughing and sneezing like every other flu. Paris and her massive brain merely identified the fact that it simply must be spread by eating swine.

Which means that the Jews and the Muslims will be just fine. Apart from the fact that they'll still have to put up with Paris Hilton in the future.