Paula Abdul admits she was the inspiration for Rihanna and Beyonce. What?

Abdul Extreme Jabber

Fri, 23/01/2009 - 01:00 by chrisns

What goes through your mind when you hear the words 'Paula Abdul' - apart from a massive headache? Rubbish singer and choreographer from the 80's? An unimpressive judge on an American reality show? Someone who likes a little drinky now and again?

Well, fuck you, you're wrong! Paula is responsible for some of the most popular music and videos around at the moment, but you're just too stupid to realise the fact. She has single-handedly influenced some of the most popular musical stars in the world today, who bow down and accept that she was a visionary, not just some 'Fame' reject with legwarmers and a couple of dated hits.

How do we know this? Because Paula Abdul says so, that's why. She is the greatest influence on modern music since Hendrix, The Beatles and The Stones. How do we know this? Because Paula Abdul says so, that's why.

"My videos stand the test of time. They are like the almanac for every performer. Even Rihanna has come up to me and said 'I hope you don't mind.' And Beyonce. You can see the influence of what I've done. It's really fun to see that I've left a mark."

Surely the only way Rihanna would be walking up to Paula Abdul and using the phrase 'I hope you don't mind' would be in refusing to buy a copy of The Big Issue? Next week: how Stephen Hawking and Noam Chomsky acknowledge their debt to Toni Basil and her video for 'Mickey'.