Paula Abdul has been single since last summer, is rich and not averse to a little drinky now and again. On paper she sounds like the perfect woman, but in reality (46, crazy as a bag full of badgers and likely to bring you into contact with Simon Cowell) she might not be the perfect catch.

At least Paula hasn't gone completely deranged and insisted on finding a new husband - she's done with all that marriage shit. And it's her choice never to marry again after two failures under her belt. Do you understand this? It's her fucking choice. She wouldn't marry you if you were the last person on earth. Or unless you asked really nicely. Paula protested far too much to OK! magazine.

 

"I tried marriage and it didn't work too well for me, but I would very much like to find a soulmate. I look at couples like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell and see what I would like to have: a beautiful lasting relationship that doesn't require a piece of paper."

 

Or a career, by the look of that pair (and no, Kurt's appearance in 'Deathproof' doesn't count because the film was shit. Utterly shit. As have most films he's appeared in where his character wasn't named 'Snake Pliskin'. And 'Stargate' in bits). Anyway, back to Paula Abdul and her relentless search for a bit of cock after ten months off the circuit.

 

"I'd love to have children with that soulmate. Adoption is definitely an option."

 

I'd say it's the only option. Odd that Paula issues this plea for a soulmate just as her contract on 'American Idol' is just about to run out. Not that she's desperate for a bit of attention to put on her CV (or a sympathetic, idiotic multi-millionaire), you understand. She'll still get work as a choreographer, as long as Michael J Fox can pick her up in his DeLorean every morning and take her back to 1988.