It's always unpleasant when one of the most original musicians in the world and someone you've admired for years turns out to be an idiot with horrible beliefs. Anyway, that's enough about Kerry Katona - it looks like Prince is a bit of a tool too. It's been seven years since he became a Jehovah's Witness (a religion which believes a set number of people can get into Heaven - a number which has already been met so no new recruits can get in - not the best incentive to sign up, really…).

The teeny-tiny-toddler decided to talk to the New Yorker magazine, and he didn't even cover his face or change his name halfway through the interview, which in retrospect might have been a mistake, as it might have distracted attention away from some of his comments, such as his conversion to the Witnesses.

 

"I don't see it really as a conversion. It's like Morpheus and Neo in 'The Matrix.' "

 

That sounds brilliant and makes the whole religion seem even more credible (Hey Jesus, watch out for the bald guy with the rubbish little chin beard. He's been eating steak with the baddie!) Thank Jehovah Prince took the right pill that Morpheus offered or he might still be running around having sex with anything that moves and making great music. Later he was asked about his views on gay marriage and abortion. He remained calm, just tapping his Bible and commenting,

 

"God came to earth and saw people sticking it wherever and doing it with whatever, and he just cleared it all out. He was, like, 'Enough.' "

 

That pesky AIDS virus, eh? Well done to God, the benevolent deity for sorting it out. And obviously many cheers directed towards Jehovah for accepting the Artist Formerly Known As Interesting for completely ruining his career. Oh, and turning him into a horrible fucker.

 

by Ian McShane