Balding, braying parasite Prince William dumped Kate Middleton because, apparently, her friends photocopied fivers with Middleton's face on it in the place of the Queen's.

Now, you'll have noticed that we've written nothing at all so far on the boring, horse-faced king-in-waiting and his ex, mainly because it's just too tedious for words and we really couldn't give a tinker's toss about him or whoever he wants to stick his inbred knob into.

But this little snippet couldn't pass without comment. And that comment is: How fucking childish.