Way down deep in the middle of the Congo women are drawing their husbands closer to them, refusing to allow them to pop out for a pint of milk on their own and meeting them from work and escorting them home. You see, Sienna Miller's in town and she's single (for now).

It's all in the name of charidee naturally, as Sienna is there as part of a group called Take Part to raise consciousness of the problems the Congolese face. A fantastic opportunity, but unfortunately it seems that all Sienna can concentrate on is a little worm of desire wriggling around in her belly, waiting to be tickled. It was there in the UK, it was there when she started the trip in Rwanda and now she's reached the Congo it demands to be comforted.

"The country feels so different to Rwanda… bustling markets, smoke, chickens and goats running freely, men and women holding hands, and I smile at the universal language of love."

And think 'He'd leave her in a heartbeat if I fluttered my eyelashes'. Still, what of the sensitive political situation in Kinshasa, the human rights abuses and the attacks on the opposition political supporters in the Congo? Sienna couldn't care less…

"We are invited to the IMC guest house for dinner with Fernand…He is immediately so warm and affectionate towards us… hugs and smiles, peanuts , Pringles and beautiful South African wine and then we sit down for dinner. Fernand is away from his wife and three boys. He has been here for 2 weeks now and I asked him how it was going."

She doesn't mess about, does she? Two weeks away from his wife and it's 'Pass the Pringles' and 'More South African wine Fernand?' and 'Peanuts sounds a bit like…'

You can read the blog for yourself here or alternatively you could rip out your own eyeballs then microwave them just to make sure that they're not working anymore, though if you do you'll miss out on such humanitarian and political insight as:

"Martin told us war stories (I proceeded to have the most dramatic and violent dreams!) and he played us a song by Baz Luhrman around the table which I haven't heard for years and is packed with invaluable advice…it's called "Sunscreen"… look it up and listen!"

Yes, it's vapid, shallow and the more you hear it, the more trite it sounds. That's Sienna for you.