Alan Sugar has been hired by Gordon Brown to become the country's Enterprise Tsar - meaning he will no longer be a Sir - he is now LORD SUGAR. This has obviously only come about because we turned him down for the job of janitor - no really! Look...

There is a very long winded and potentially libellous story about how we got this interview - I'll save it for the memoirs. Thanks Lord Alan! Jeremy Clarkson for Transport Minister! Jim Davidson for Foreign Secretary Johnny Ball for Chancellor! Amazing how quickly things get forgotten though isn't it - Here's Lord Alan speaking to the Financial Times in 1992:

"Sir, I have noted with disgust the comments of a certain Mr Gordon Brown who has accused me of doing well out of the recession after reading the letter published in the Times from 40 top industrialists." "I do not know who Mr Gordon Brown is. Excuse my ignorance, but I don't. Whoever he is [shadow trade and industry secretary], he has not done his homework properly. The man doesn't know what he's talking about. How he has the audacity to say that Amstrad or Alan Sugar has flourished in recession is a complete mystery to me."