In one of those, "Wasn't this an actual storyline on Dallas?" moments, Victoria Principal, who played Pam Ewing in the hit US soap is being sued by a former maid for pulling a gun on her. Harsh.

Maribel Banegas claims TV's Pamela Ewing flew into a rage when her hired help took too long to walk her pet dog Mei-Ling. The maid told Victoria it was because the dog didn't want to do a shit.

When she was abruptly fired, she asked for her wages and instead got a gun in her face and Victoria threatened to kill her.

Anyway, all this was just an excuse to put a picture of her face up - what the fuck happened there?

Does she live in a Hall of Mirrors?

Men, if you need to delay your orgasm whilst making love, there's no need to recite the Liverpool first team backwards whilst imagining your grandma in suspenders - just whack this in your mind's eye. It'll take hours to pop.

*sends invoice*