Oh shut up, twat
Gaylord, give it a go, because your post is really just an extension of all that you are condemning.
Doing well Gaylord
*something about monkeys & knitting*
Great to know you're still a tedious cunt Gaylord. The rest of us tedious cunts on here were worried
lets be friends Gaylord, then maybe one day I'll be as cool as you.
You have high aspirations. I hope it doesn't end in failure and disappointment for you. Either through your not achieving the pincacle of his state of gracehood or discovering that, in becoming like him, you have turned into a knob.
Photo of shit or something
And that's why we can't have nice things.
The purge continues!
Yea cause so many people come to the board now
fuck sorry but that ginger's on Redhotlovers again.
It's not that sperm-curdling munter from Girls Aloud trying to top up her meagre allowance again is it??
On the sadder note though, this fucking witch-hunt is getting daft with some of the regularly sharp and amusing commentators getting the chop. *awaits shepherd's crook round the neck to exit stage right*
It's like Salem without the sex. Tragic. On both counts.
Did he get banned or is he on holiday? Ever since the cunt came out of the corner this shit started happening, which coincided with going global. Why else would anyone come here other than to take in the sometimes hilarious acerbic wit and general piss taking?
I know. On the other issue, can't see why a holiday would result in his profile page thing being blocked a la Blart's. I remember vaguely a spat a few days back with HM and MJ. Need to look it up. But you're right. A website dedicated to 'bile and idiocy' needs bile and idiocy. And that comes from the posters - don't see much of that in the 'stories' these days - so as I watch the water circle down the plug hole, let's remember the days when HM actually Had some Meat.
And no, I'm not talking willies. Put it away Unseemly :)
You know how sometimes things are really bad for you, but you do them anyway? Like picking spots or watching Top Gear? That's what hanging around this place is like. Those of us with an irrational HM habit keep doing it because the odd nugget of brilliance keeps us here. In the meantime, Mr HM and his fluffers don't give a shit whether we're here or not -where's the excitement in the odd mole banning among a user quota of 660,000?
Personally I'd love to make a living spending my whole day doing 'control c, control v' directly from TMZ onto here - what cunt wouldn't?
I'm a sad cunt - as mr HM once pointed out - called me 'provincial' if I recall. So, I sometimes check who is logged on - about 25 max. on a good day. So he might have got a big readership but what made this place buzz (and Mr Head Master and mipso and Harry Slow will disagree) is the fact that others were willing to come here and shoot some jizz in the face of celebrity cuntdom in response to their lazy stories.
We can all read the Daily Heil to get some pointless celeb news. The point here was that you supposedly got a different curve on it all and then got a chance to say 'cunts' really loudly and often with some humour and wit thrown in. Which is what got him his ABC1 advertising in the first place.
If he wants a bunch of kids or PR interns saying, 'Cooooool' in response to their 'stories' then so be it but I don't think this demographic buy ski holidays or prosthetic knees.
Basically without the comment bits being lively, intelligent and well spelled with the occasional reference to anal sex, this site may as well be a sub division of Getty Images.
Indeed. Essentially we're at cross-purposes with Mr HM on this one given that our scat-bursts serve no commercial purpose and the joyful use of profanity and references to bumming are positive anathema to the hordes of Heat readers and sponsors he wants to beckon in with the promise of sweeties, puppies and kittens. Can't blame him though for wanting to do what's necessary to avoid having to do a miserable day job like the rest of us.
Like Meryl says, we keep coming back in spite of it all though in search of the occasional tea-spitting great line or two although with many of the regular suspects being picked off one by one the odds on these gems popping up are disappearing fast - am not sure whether to keep the faith, or make some futile and abusive argument with the great sage and get cast out to the ether!
Oh that's rubbish. MJ was alright. Shame, Mr HM. Shame.
Do you think it's true? I only have my own Hetty Wainthrope style investigation to go by. Hetty Wainthrope. One of MJ's last cultural references on the McQueen story/BBc obituary speedy work. This my tribute to him. You gonna knit him a flag?
Why has this happened? Is Mr HM like Dr Evil? I don't know the ins and outs of all this, I just like swearing and complaining and I like reading MJs stuff because he's a flippin mine of delightful trivia. His reference to Madonna's hand looking like some rat's hand from an animated film I'd never seen was truly inspired. Mebbes he's just gone to Lanzarote for a week?
Definitely banned. I've had the telegram. Now for the funeral. What do you think he would have wanted? Blart got his laptop driven by Frank and Yvonne through a small Russian village with us lining the streets but what's gonna be the deal for MJ? I'm thinking a wake in some kind of gallery where the walls are covered in somehow random yet strangely appropriate images found on google when he should have been working. sort of like a retrospective exhibition? We can have canapes:
This is definitely a must for opposite the door:
http://www.holymoly.com/celebrity-news/lady-gaga-turns-her-gig-looking-p...
that you need to stop befriending wankers on the internet,.
Jan Moir must be foaming at the mouth
An orange in the mouth jobbie? Or perhaps a 'Michael Hutchence'? Sad to go so young. This guy was only 26. He should have stuck to wanking into a sock.
This was really sad. Not a house redevelopment in sight. And he died of an ear ache (well enjoying the painkillers too much) rather than pure gay.
Holy fucking fried chicken ! you can DIE from an ear-ache ?? I told Mrs Custer that shit was serious but would she believe me ? no of course not......time for a bit of reverential payback when I get home. BAM !
Can of starch crammed up his shitter, bag strapped over his head and wanking like a fucking gibbon.
I knew he was like that the first time I saw him on telly.
Just dead, please.
...to be over twelve.
It will have to be vampire now I've had my hair cut - I look like a lesbian. Not the pretty lipstick wearing variety or the funny fun ones. Just miserable dyky.
Werewolf for me as I am already a hairy, aggressive bastard who basically loathes the majority of miserable soul sucking fuckwits who pass themselves off as members of the human race and would happily bite most of thier mewling fucking faces right off.... I thank you
Could I book you to open our village fete in June this year?
Would love to, please observe the following rider; 1 x full moon, wide selection of mewling, hand wringing, mouth breathing, fuck knuckles, various sizes, 1 x family size bag of Maltesers and a super size bottle of hair conditioner.
Not the best thought-out username then Smiler
Was this a question to the site in general ?
Hitler youth and gay child molestors makes for a great religion.
As if he doesn't already. I'd love to have a look through his collection of wood-carved porn.
I have seen some quite interesting films involving priests and nuns though it has to be said.
Who'd have thought HM's most prolific poster would be banned? What was it for? Go on, you can tell me here, and I promise to keep it to myself...
"This site is going right down the shitter...."
http://www.holymoly.com/celebrity-news/lost-24-green-zone-and-other-ace-...
I wonder if he's asked the Tooting Popular Front if he can borrow their tank?
Hand-feed-bite. Nevermind.
It can't be that thread - Blart was only one of several moles calling Mr HM a sell-out cunt and berating the news item for being inaccurate and er, shit.
From the tone of his retorts though, Mr HM was just sounding a bit pre-menstrual. Hopefully with an evening primrose oil suppository in place he'll be mellowing out now and Blart will be royally reinstated before we know it
I think Blart's got his own tank.
I don't know why. I don't think he does.
Doesn't usually take long to get back in.
....apparently.
Am I the only fucker that hasn't been banned at any point??
I need to step up my game.
Michael Buckley is a better talking head than Mr HM. Yeah! Suck on that.
to make excuses to you lot why he's such a big mard arse. He just is. Cut the guy some slack and leave him to listen to his Razor Light album without any of your bitching. Blart got what was coming to him. This site was not built on people being twatty with each other. End of. The scrawny guy at the top has banged down the banned hammer once again. Go about your business now before others get the chop. You hear me, DO ONE. I got your back, Mr HM. Let's keep it tight. Let's keep it tepid.
if the silly boy wasn't so loose with his tongue to the Boss, then he'd still be here. That's something you'd all be advised to consider before you let loose with your outbursts. Stick to the law
Do you think we need to mark his passing? I'm thinking us having his laptop driven through a small village such as Lebyazhy - maybe Frank and Yvonne could do this bit in their Honda Jazz - draped in the above flag (Tesco - can you knit said scarf - just for that homely touch). We line the streets/dirt tracks cheering and applauding (while inside we're just dying too, you know) as his remains are repatriated. Meantime, Mr HM and Mopsa and Harry and Penny Century and so on can hold a protest screaming, 'Enough of his bile, idiocy and smut and perviness. Baby killer. Sodomite. Looped through scarf wearer.' We will then have a little moment of mutual recognition that perhaps, once, we were all on the same side in the battle to eviscerate the enemies of free thought and cultural standards. We'll hug. It will be lovely. They will put down their banners. We'll all go down the pub. Mr HM will buy a round. Oh how we'll laugh (while regretting the time we wasted when we could have been together). We'll toast Blart. We'll cry, 'Yzumitelno, you old cunt, Blartsky. Yzumitelno!' (Yes, I know. Too many words.)
What is all this communist thing about, Mr Blaret was a red in bed was he. Under section 37 of the political allegiance act 1938 the communist is illeagal so may be its better hes gone before I came here, or may be I have been here longer than you think lol
why you're dropping my name here, do you, honey? It's just that everyone else does it and, by god, it feels good to fit in.
One less old timer.
You'd think we'd get the fucking message.
Wow, I didn't know he'd been banned. He was always a douche to me, I think because he hates women and people who have joy in their lives...
Anyway, I don't think he should have been banned. Despite being an arsehole, he did come out with funny comments pretty much every day.
Silly HM.
So will you knit the flag then?
Nah, I don't like him that much. He called me deluded, and gullible, amongst other things.
Looks like he was pretty much spot on then.
See what you did there, Tesco? I don't like him. Present tense. It's all part of the grieving process I think. Struggling to switch to the past tense when we lose someone. It's all so, so tragic.
What's more tragic is that MJ hasn't been seen round here for a while Has he fallen prey to Mr HM's axe?
BOO, Mr HM. Blarty was good for a larf (spesh when he took himself seriously) and MJ was going to give me a job as his PR rep. Boo, Mr HM.
Do you know what, that's a bit of mind meld moment, Tesco. Just stepped outside to 'ave a fag to escape contemplating the role of the UN as an agent of peace or a target of mistrust *discuss ad nauseum and make me read and make sense of your dull thoughts* when the lack of MJ popped into my mind. Perhaps he's broken his arms or something less upsetting than being banned from HM/by HM. nd
Not your dull thoughts, I hope you understand. I don't think you can possibly ever have any.
Ypu'd be surprised, Stella. The other day I spent 2 hours thinking about ottomans.
Is that the Turkish Ottomans as in the empire or the pieces of furniture? I hope the latter or you are a bit weird. Seen any you like?
and Mr MJ you say?
Do you have a description of either, apart from deluded and stupid? You can't insult the Boss and get away with it you know the system will start too fall apart and all that. We won't miss ether of them there are some new kids on the block, sunday bible reading class at 2pm if anyones interested. Better class of people all round if you ask me. there are a few of you should watch yr step
*there are some new kids on the block*
Laughed? I nearly burst my colostomy bag
*better class of people all round if you ask me*
Er, did anyone ask you? No. So fuck off, you tedious tosswipe. There are women in mourning on here blethering about soft furnishings
And, cos we can spend two hours thinking about ottomans and sustaining a thought through a whole day and a bit, we will shell and pod any new kid on the ground that they just can't keep it up and going. Without having a sub or or a can of red bull or some such. So bring it on Officer Dibble and if you'd had any wit or spunk you'd have called yourself Dribble you cunt. You were one phoneme away from humour. Your life story I suspect.
o yes stella I get your name now. What about Carl Ling would that be better? I wish you women would be better mannered and minded. The language is terrible I woiuld be getting my book out to you all fairly regular. I am the new kid on the block thats the joke
but who do you think you are uyou jumped up woman. I am an officer of the law for real so be very careful what your saying yes?
Keep youre language down as well there are woman and young people here as well
....of my death have been greatly exaggerated, I am alive and well and keeping it real.
I had a wonderful time over Christmas, ta missus.
Hang on....18....virgin?
Sweet
I think the dude was gay. This wasn't some beneath-the-covers and in-the-dark nudity I'm talking about.
What is wrong with the world?!? :'(
Plus cancer and famine and corruption and Cilla etc. But mainly over-sharing.
but still too many
what i was going to put, but then i couldn't remember my password so didn't, but then i remembered and went to do it but then you'd done it already, YOU CUNT.
is my favorite post in years.
are you michael palin?
Meryl, you aren't allowed to badmouth penny.
You get home truths printed about you apparently.
Printed where? The WI Newsletter or Cat Owners Weekly?
*high-fives*
Dude, we're 4th in Meryls chart! It's a pretty poor show for Mr HM if WE are at number 4 dontchathink...?
.
You missed out Blart - I wish to nominate him for being lovely. Only certain people can see this. While to most he seems the most obnoxious creature ever to have crawled on to a website, to many others he appears to them as a spirit of loveliness. Or rather perhaps he is just an obnoxious creature, etc. Either way, for spreading his thoughts, seed and fuming vehemence in the face of life itself, I nominate him for a Meryl. But then where is he? His silence these last few days has been profound. Banned, dead or in the Gulag? Who knows. Who knows...
Very nice, Meryl. Very nice.
.
slagface xxx
You was and all
(merry christmas)
cat last night, WHAT THE FUCK IS THERE TO BE MERRY ABOUT EH?????
Except presents?
vibe Stix you cunt.
Kojo?
she was a donkey with a grey blanket lashed over her.
It IS nearly Christmas
Presumably someone at the
Presumably someone at the record company wasn't tone deaf then...but given another clueless cloth-eared twat appears to have signed them up since, this clearly doesn't apply to the whole music industry!! Still, you never know they might make it to being the next Milli Vanilli...