It has been widely reported that Jennifer Lopez and her 3000 year-old husband Marc Anthony haven't been getting on with each other, with both appearing in public sans wedding rings and attending events separately. Star magazine is claiming that the situation is even worse than anyone imagined with the pair beating each other like ginger step-children from dawn till dusk.

No-one is sure whether Marc is a vampire or a disinterred mummy, but either way it looks like he can get rather shouty with his fists and J-Lo isn't behind the door with her Latin temper and potentially-lethal arse (when she walks backwards a siren sounds warning 'this vehicle is reversing'). Star claim,

 

"They love hard; they fight hard — and that has led to pushing and shoving. They throw things and scream and just go bananas. It's been war in their house! [Marc] can be really mean. He's a macho guy with a horrible temper and can say awful things."

 

Like 'I do' or 'I think I'll do another tour,' perhaps? Marc certainly looks as though he has been fighting hard, either against Roman soldiers or sunlight. Star ask earnestly,

 

"What triggers these blowups? A number of things — from various women calling their home to speak with Marc to his comments about Jennifer's "chubby" post-baby body."

 

Boo! Why does Jennifer stay with this idiot? Oh yes, for money and publicity. Remember, they're planning to divorce after performing a high-profile duet on Valentine's Day in New York. A classy pair, and it's sad they're splitting as it means they'll be inflicting their own physical and mental pain on new partners pretty soon.