For some reason (perhaps Hugh Heffner settling into dotage and losing his memory) Playboy magazine are interested in featuring the naked form of Kate Winslet in their pages.

Granted, she's a fine figure of a woman but there are small undiscovered Amazonian tribes who have seen her naked in at least one film, so it's hard to say why anyone would buy the magazine in order to see another shot of Kate's balconies and downstairs topiary. It'd be like the Pope buying a copy of the New Testament hoping that there are some mentions of Jesus in there. Hugh Heffner, announced with glistening eyes (and hopefully just his eyes),

 

"There's no question we would be interested in Kate. It's a competitive market, more than it used to be, so she would be a most welcome addition in our pages."

 

Yes it's a competitive market, so wouldn't Scarlett Johansson or Jessica Alba sell more issues, having not draped their lady bumps across countless celluloid outings? Either way, Kate isn't interested, preferring to sit at home with Sam Mendes while the pair obsessively buff their respective Oscars. A spokesman for Kate confirmed to WENN,

 

"This is not a proposal that would interest her."

 

That is, unless they use a movie camera and Leonardo DiCaprio. Or Harvey Keitel. Or Christopher Eccleston. Or just her on her own with a camcorder. Kate herself spoke to TMZ.com and laughed the whole thing off.

 

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I don't believe that for one second!"

 

Which means Playboy haven't offered enough money yet. It's a competitive market after all, Hugh.