As metaphors go, you really will have to hunt high and low to find a richer one than this. There's no need to pussyfoot around here, so we'll get to the (ahem) meat of the matter. Tory leader David Cameron's two-year-old son, Arthur Elwyn, was with his parents on Rupert Murdoch's yacht off a Greek island in August. So far, so media-mogul-courts-Tory-leader-to-do-his-bidding. Except poor little Arthur must have been struggling with the Mediterranean diet and, let's not mince our words here, did a massive shit in Murdoch's Jacuzzi.

Just savour that image for a moment and feel how it is bursting with meaning.

 

As the yacht bobbed in the crystal blue sea, Arthur's colon-cigar flipped and tossed in the bubbling Jacuzzi water. Cameron's wife Samantha was, luckily, quick to react and managed to fish out the offending 'emission' before it was mashed up into a bubbling crap-uccino.

 

I'm sure you're already filling in the blanks here and making your own conclusions about Cameron's plans to huff out a giant pile of arse-syrup over the entire nation if the Conservatives win the next election. Except it'll take at least four years before anyone can clean it up.

 

As for Murdoch (Turd-och?), despite poo-ing out diseased news every day, it's not exactly showing gratitude when he lets you use his yacht. Talk about shite-ing the hand that feeds.

 

by HorseWorm