Seeing as Madonna is reportedly writing a slew of new material that rips into her soon-to-be ex-husband Guy Ritchie - among them hits in waiting such as 'That Accent Isn't Fooling Anyone, You Idiot Public Schoolboy' or 'At Least Sean Penn Was Talented' - it seems only fair that Guy himself will want to redress the balance.

Rumours are emerging that Guy plans on telling all about his relationship with Madonna via the medium he loves best - moviemaking. A close source has babbled the following:

 

"Guy has said that most people wouldn't believe what went on in their marriage and it would make the most incredible dark, twisted sort of movie. His idea would be to give it a film noir treatment. It would be fascinating."

 

Sounds like the notion could be a feasible one. After all, it's not as if Ritchie's movies aren't ludicrously self-indulgent ramblefests of little interest to anyone other than their immediate creator in the first place. And what could capture the feeling of a disintegrating marriage better than a shoddy script, wooden acting and general sense of aimlessness (soundtrack by Ocean Colour Scene)?

 

It's not known how much ground the idea could cover. The divorce proceedings are far from over, so there's presumably plenty more story mileage to be squeezed out of the inevitable madcap squawking arguments that are going to be echoing across the courtroom these next few months.

 

Although that proposed scene in which Madge robs a bank with her wiseguy cohorts Fat Eddie, Irish Joe and Terry The Hat (he always wears a hat! Do you see?) might be a stretch of artistic license.

 

by CJ