Forget all those things like 'issues', 'policies' and 'personality' - the only thing the average American voter really cares about is the political viewpoint of the star of 'The Man In The Iron Mask'. Thank heavens, then, for Leonardo DiCaprio's new initiative.

What's the difference between that and the new one? Well, as you'll see, Leo has really upped the ante, dragging in slightly bigger stars than Buffy's younger sister and the fat kid from 'Superbad'. People along the lines of Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Snoop Dogg, Harrison Ford, Julia Roberts, Ben Stiller, Will Smith, Steven Spielberg and Justin Timberlake. Want a look-see? Here you go:

Hmmm. Look, we really don't want to sound cynical, buuuutttt ….

 

While everyone's heart is presumably in the right place, it's hard to deny that there's an intensely patronising sheen about the whole thing. Didn't care about global warming or the credit crunch? Well, hey, kids - what if Shia LeBouf told you to? What then, eh? Eh?

 

Still - it's not the most condescending media voting initiative ever launched. Remember the 2004 US election, when The Guardian spearheaded a letter-writing campaign from readers to random Americans urging them to support John Kerry? Because presumably the geopolitical fate of an entire nation can be decided by the customer base of the Muswell Hill Fresh 'N' Wild, right?

by CJ