Julio Iglesias is well known as a masterful pork-swordsman. By his own account he has bedded over 2000 women and is working on improving that number even now. By the time you finish reading this paragraph Julio will have had sex with three women and raped a wolf - that's how trouser-hungry the leathery lothario is.

His son Enrique is another matter. Despite rumours about his sexuality besmirching his career like a big mole might have once besmirched his face, he has been 'romancing' Anna Kournikova for several years. For some reason Anna is often cited as one of the greatest beauties in the world, even though she looks like Boris Yeltsin straining to force a poo out.

Sadly, Enrique appears to be less than optimistic about his 'relationship' with the former tennis player who won fuck all as a player but became newsworthy for looking like Boris Yeltsin straining to force a poo out, which makes her much more attractive than the majority of female tennis players around today.

"Anna's clock may be ticking but I don't think she's ready for kids either. We talked about it all one day and she said that she wouldn't marry me. And she meant it. She said I'm probably just a guy she wants to date for a few years, then she'll leave me. I'm cool with that."

Come on mate, have some self respect will you? It's sounding like you have absolutely no interest in having ongoing sex with this heterosexual woman!

"If we did get married, I'd do it in a drive-through in Vegas. But Anna wouldn't marry someone like me, even if I try."

Not really trying too hard, are you darling?