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Rachel Stevens

Well - a reunion tour of sorts. Rachel Stevens is presently busy waltzing around in Strictly Come Dancing, Tina Barrett is trying to reinvent herself as a soul songstress, Jon Lee is voicing cartoons on Sky and cutie-pie Hannah Spearritt is otherwise preoccupied by her frantic clawing at the doors of our office basement. Which leaves only three.

 

Hello to Bradley McIntosh, Paul Cattermole and tearful non-racist Jo O' Meara, then. They're all set to keep the S Club 7 flame burning with an upcoming sold-out mega-tour which will see them thrill packed auditoriums. Just one thing, though - by 'upcoming sold-out mega-tour which will see them thrill packed auditoriums', we actually mean 'depressing trawl around the UK university circuit played exclusively to pissed-up 'ironic' students.'

 

Pop promoter Terry Mills has given them the stamp of approval. Sort of:

 

"It's early days. They've got some good songs so I'm sure they'll get bookings."

 

Bookings which will inevitably involve looking out over a sea of cider-necking Media Studies undergrads whose chants of 'do that one about the mountains, I love that, blah blah Hasselhoff blah blah Mighty Boosh blah blah badly-rolled joints blah blah etc' will make them die a little inside.

 

Oh, look. Before anyone complains, let's make one thing clear: we don't want to embrace stand-up comedian clichés here. Not all students are wankers, of course - just the ones who seem to think that eking out a third in Media And Unrealistic Expectations Studies has turned them into Steven fucking Spielberg or something. You'll learn. Oh, you'll all learn.


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