It takes a brave man to take on the might of Madonna, but as Guy Ritchie was stupid enough to marry her in the first place, he'll have to lie in the bed of nails he dutifully hammered in for himself. In the latest round of Celebrity Divorce Match, the director has squared up to his muscle-bound missus by hiring Britain's top children's lawyer to prevent the Madge control freakshow from hauling the children over to America for good.

Pop's favourite antique is intent on raising and educating Lourdes, Rocco and adopted David Banda in New York, while Guy wants them to stay put in Blighty. Mr Madonna has dug deep into his mockney pockets and earmarked Stephen Cobb QC as the man to ensure he keeps half the kids. A source confirms:

 

"There are only a handful of barristers who specialise in leave-to-remove applications and he is the best in that area."

 

Ritchie had better be on the case because Madonna has hired courtroom battleaxe - and thanks to Mad Mills sometime wet 'n' wild legal celeb - Fiona Shackleton to do her bidding. Move over Sarah Palin: these two are like a couple of pitbulls decorated in lipstick and lycra.

 

We got ourselves a celebrity dog fight.